A few months ago, I found myself with little to no willpower to do anything. Even though I was performing fine at work as soon as the evening rolled around, I felt exhausted. I had no energy left in me to do anything other but lay on the couch, watch Netflix, browse some social apps, and mindlessly open one tab after another on chrome. When the clock would show 11:00 pm, I would start getting ready for bed, only to do all of that all over again tomorrow. And I feel like we’ve all been in there, we’ve all had days, weeks, or even months where we didn’t feel like doing anything. And sometimes that’s perfectly fine.
The problem was that I wanted to do things. Projects that I wanted to start on, things I wanted to learn. But there was this constant thought in my head that would keep popping up whenever I would get the slightest inkling of willpower to start something. It was this idea that “I don’t have time”. I kept telling myself that I’ll get to work on all the things I’ve been meaning to when I have more time, when work gets slower, when daily chores are fewer, when, when, when.
For me, the first step of getting out of that state was a simple mindset change. All I had to do first was to recognize that I was in control of my time, and it wasn’t about me not having time to do the things I wanted to, it was that I chose to not make time for them. The mere thought of I don’t have the time was subconsciously giving me permission to not do those things, since I felt like I was not in control, almost as if I was the victim in all of this. By completely banning the thought of “I don’t have time” from my mental dictionary, I was now taking complete ownership of my time, and there was no hiding behind excuses anymore. If I didn’t go to the gym that day, it was because I chose not to make time for it. That project idea that has been sitting in my backlog for a while? Yeah, I chose to watch Netflix instead.
This mindset shift was enough to make me question the things that I was choosing to spend my time on. That alone wasn’t enough to change my entire day around completely, but I started experimenting with things that would increase my productivity. There are a few things that I realized while going down the rabbit hole of productivity systems and to-do apps.
“Motivation is a myth” -Jeff Haden
The first and most crucial realization is that motivation is a myth. Probably one of the biggest lies that we’ve all been told throughout our lives is that we have to feel motivated before we start working on a project. Or a common excuse we tell ourselves if we stop halfway is that we lost motivation. Motivation is like a sugar rush. It feels great at first, but it’s impossible to maintain. Inspirational quotes, videos, and speeches will never give us lasting motivation. The only way to achieve that is through success. Success leads to motivation, which leads to more success, and so on. If you accomplish at least one thing you set out to do today, that leads to a dopamine rush of positive feelings, which fuels you for the next thing. Willpower has no place in this equation of success. What we need is grit, the mental toughness to keep going even when we don’t feel like it.
A kid does what they feel like doing. And adult does what they know they should.
The other thing you have to come to terms with is that the deck is stacked against you. In this day and age, there are countless distractions and they are all competing for your attention. On one hand, we have this modern mindset that tells us we must hustle, squeeze in as much work as possible into every moment of the day, otherwise, we’ll fall behind. This results in endless to-do lists and fully booked calendars. Eventually, it leads to us feeling depleted and almost guilty of feeling that way.
On the other hand, we have Instagram, Netflix, YouTube, or any other app that provides us with limitless amounts of content for us to consume after feeling completely exhausted from hustling. Studies show that the average US adult spends almost 4 hours a day, on their phone, and over 3 hours on other digital screens. Procrastination and distraction are literally becoming a full-time job. No wonder willpower alone cannot save us from all of this.
So are we just destined to be distracted forever? Not quite! Instead of accepting our fate, we just have to find that one thing.
Highlight
The highlight will be the single activity that you will prioritize and make time for in your day. The highlight will give you a chance to be proactive about how you choose to spend your time instead of letting distractions and other people set your own agenda. You take ownership of your own time by choosing where you direct your attention. And your daily highlight is the target of that attention.
Your highlight can be something as small as going for a walk during lunch, or as big as finishing that essay you’ve been putting off for so long. Again, it’s not about how big of a productive task you can get done, it’s about slowly regaining control of your own time. Urgency, satisfaction, **and joy** can be the three main deciding factors of your highlight. Find urgent highlights on your to-do list, email, or calendar, and try to prioritize those for a highlight when possible. Another way to determine a highlight is to think about what will bring you the most satisfaction and joy when you get it done. Not every minute of every day has to be optimized for maximum efficiency. Trust your gut whether an urgent, satisfying, or joyful highlight is best for you today.
Focus
Once you’ve decided on your highlight for today, it’s time to create barriers to distractions around you so you can focus on the one thing that matters. The best way to defeat distractions is to make it harder to react to them. For that, try the following steps! Be the Boss of Your Phone. That means turning off almost all, if not all notifications on your phone. Better yet, try uninstalling one infinity pool app that compels you the most, even for just a week. Clear your home screen, move all the icons to the next screen over, and only keep the essentials on that first page. And no, that does not include one of your other infinity pools. That should be enough to beat the reflex of you unlocking your phone and instinctively tapping on those icons.
Recharge
So you have your highlight, you found your way to focus on it, the next step is to recharge! Find ways to recharge your batteries with sufficient and sustainable manners. Exercise, eat real food, get adequate sleep, have some quiet time, or even quality face-to-face time. Those are just some of the things you can start introducing in your daily life that will help energize your brain. I’m sure you’ll find the ones that work for you.
Reflect
The last area of how to make time and be more present is to reflect. You can learn to fine-tune your days by measuring them. The easiest way I’ve found to accomplish this is through a daily journal. The journal does not need to be overly complex or take a long time to complete. I, personally, am applying something called “Morning Pages”, so every morning when I wake up I take some time to transfer every thought that I have in my head, whether that is things that happened yesterday if I did the things I set out to, all the “small” or “big” wins and what today’s highlight will be. I also write one thing that I’m grateful for, to get my mindset on the right track. The purpose of this is to help clear your head and alleviate the feeling of us being overwhelmed. For my morning pages I started with the app “Day One”, but then I switched over to this journal!
These following steps got me out of the pools, off the wagon, and on to the right train of productivity. And sure, I still have days where I’m not at the top of my game, but as I said, be gentle with yourself, celebrate the small wins, and take it one day at a time. I’m not saying that these will change your life overnight, but if you find yourself in the same spot that I was, these may be enough to get you started, and you can take it on from there!